I have no control over my tears nor can I stop the pain of knowing he's not there anymore to talk to or even send an email. They said it takes four seasons to grieve, but it is not grieving that I want to do. I want to celebrate his life, though not long enough life, and commit to memory. Being a part of his life has helped me in getting a paradigm shift, a different way of looking at things. He was a model for me to try new things and not be confined to a narrow way of looking at things.

If the meaning of our lives is to be born so we can learn to love and improve ourselves in order to be able to love and help others improve themselves, then Robert had a meaningful life. Some people believe that when we passed on to the other side, at the end of the light tunnel, there stands God with His two questions: Did you learn to love, and, Did you love others. Robert will no doubt say yes to both.

If relationships are assignments which are a part of a vast plan for our enlightenment, God's blueprint by which our souls are led to greater awareness and expanded love, then Robert helped me with that assignment. When our physical proximity no longer supported our highest level of teaching and learning between us, the assignment called for physical separation. But what appeared to be the end of our relationship was not really an end because relationships are eternal. They are of the mind, not of the body since people are spirits, not physical substance.

I will always miss him but the only way I know how to thank him is to continually express his love through me, just as I received it from him. It is said that we can only give what we have, and Robert gave so much because he received it from Mum and Dad and his entire family and friends. I hope Mum and Dad realise that their greatest accomplishment is to raise a son with so much love.

My family will never be able to talk about our lives without mentioning his name. I only hope he knew how much he is loved. I only wish the young ones had the opportunity to be touched by his life.

I will never forget his love for attending weddings. I can't remember declining to attend any invitation. I never had the opportunity to get him back for taking my photos when I was asleep, which I always discovered only after getting the photos printed. I have never met a person who was so adventurous with trying all kinds of food. I will always treasure his flexibility when we travelled, even sleeping on a tent on his birthday because we couldn't find other forms of accommodation in South Australia. I will always remember his driving on the wrong side of the road on an island in Hawaii. I will always remember his love for things Japanese. I once told him he should have married a Japanes and he said, a Japanese girl told him he should marry a Filipina. How could I debate that!

I will always remember his joy when he heard he was going to be an uncle.

He enjoyed his visits to his uncles, in Merewether, in Sydney, and in Tasmania. He enjoyed our times with the Dixons, at dinners and barbecues.

May God comfort you when you feel the loss, and miss him. But personally, I told him before that every time he went away, he took a piece of me with him. This time, in my heart, I feel he has given me so much to treasure and to cherish, my beloved, Robert Dickinson Gibbon IV.